To achieve big impressive goals

to leave a legacy

to meet society’s expectations

to go to far away places

Today everything feels heavier

and I’m not sure yet

whether it’s the winter blues

or because I constantly have to carry you…

The moments pass

they pass

and pass

and with the passing of time…

One day

a group of travelers

knocked on the door

of my existence…

Maybe I should leave

Maybe I should leave this place

To get far away

To get forgotten…

Under a pile of dead bodies

Under the pile of deadly weapons

In the broken dreams of an innocent child

Under the pillow of a sleepless mother

I asked Oblivion to help me

He said it’s too hard

I asked Time to take me back

He said it’s impossible…

If one day

I could take you

Take you with me diving

Diving to the depths…

Once you were lush green

they say

then slowly

your beautiful trees were taken…

Summer

Autumn

Winter

Spring

I want to experience with you

the beauty of life

even if it’s only for a moment

You and I…

Let us kiss the ground

to make its wounds heal again

those wounds

that were caused by us…

Always be courageous, they said

Never be afraid, they said

This is life’s first lesson

Never forget, they said

It was like we were drowning in silence

As if no one could save us

If you had told me ‘I'm tired of us’'

If you had told me…

Where are you now?

Now that your beautiful smile

has disappeared

Where are you now?

Life

Long time no see

What a pleasure it is

To have you so close to me

Dear stranger

I heard that you had this glass wall built around you

To protect yourself against the earthly temptations

in life

I was far

I was far from life

I was far

I was far from myself…

You looked very sad

at the hour of farewall

but know that when tears

were running down your face…

Years ago, when looking in the mirror

I was seeing a weak human being

Years ago, when looking in the mirror

I was seeing an unhappy human being…

So much blaming

So much incomprehension

So much distance

We are drifting apart…

They gave me strength

When I felt weak

They gave me warmth

When I felt cold

It doesn’t matter if the sun will rise or not

If you are happy

The light is already here

In your hands…

For years we didn't talk brother

Your door was closed brother

but blood keeps flowing

despite closed doors brother…

When you left

Poems started hiding

They hid in the closet

They hid in the drawer…

Between us lie

Torn sheets of paper

Pens with leaking ink

A thousand unwritten words…

Your existence seems necessary

As without you

Life would become meaningless

Yet nobody likes you…

Life

Lies in front of us

As an ocean of time

Where some try to catch…

In fear

I lost life

In courage

I found it again…

For years, I traveled through the past

To feel lighter in the present

To find peace in the now

To look into the future’s eyes with strength…

You came

You said ‘‘I can’t’’

You left

You came…

I lost a little bit of myself

in grandmother’s crying eyes

When I had to say goodbye to her

I lost a little bit of myself…

These days

It seems so futile to dream

It seems so futile to dream

Even of small things…

I live in two cities at the same time

My heart decided to stay there

Wandering like a ghost through the alleys

Witnessing day in, day out…

I don’t know if you know

That my summers every year

Sound like your shouts

Smell like your guilty hands

The child within me is crying

Years have passed and she is still crying

Many times I asked her for the reason

Yet I only witnessed her silence

They called me a fool

When I talked of going back

They said that there is no peace of mind there

And that I will not see the bird fly…

In the garden of that house

His absence could be felt better than in any other place

A garden where the lemon bush was no longer there

And the grape tree had left too…

Destiny took me from the land of sorrow

To the land of flowers

Here, the bird is not imprisoned in a cage

Mother is not worried about tomorrow…

Hold my hands

because since grandmother let go of them

not only my hands

but also my heart has turned into ice…